Tag Archives: Melbourne

Crazies In The News

25 Mar

In light of the republican crazy currently touring our country, I figured I’d introduce you to some other newsworthy lunatics.

Robbers FAIL – two would-be robbers decided to call a bank ahead of time giving them a heads up of their arrival. Too bad they didn’t realise that heads up also went to the police.

Drug mix-up – Melbourne customs mistook Nestea powder for 2.44 kg of methamphetamines. The poor owner of the drink powder had to spend 5 days in custody while the substance was tested. She at least was awarded $5,000 for the inconvenience. To be honest, I would spend 5 days in custody if I could get that much money in compensation.

Layman’s Twilight – A vampire copycat decided not to intimidate a cab driver with the gun that was in his possession, but instead thought it was a great idea to bite the man.

Home is wear the bars are – In a reverse prison escape, a man gets 15 years for breaking into a jail, in violation of his probation terms. A desperate man calls for desperate measures – he only did this because the jail wouldn’t take him back when he asked nicely.

Snail snot – A Miami man who claims he practices a traditional African religion made his devotees drink giant African snail mucus…because he can. There are two problems with this: 1) Giant African snails are prohibited in the U.S. without permission. 2) Snail boogers made people violently ill causing weight loss and stomach lumps.

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