Weekly Disturbances

10 May

I understand the world like I understand this picture. Via pictureisunrelated

The world is a strange place, ladies and gentleman.

Here are some extremely odd things that I don’t completely understand, but perhaps you can make some sense of them for me:

Exhibit A:

(exotic) Dancing Babies – Why are they five and wearing no clothing and doing….oh god no…. and why are people cheering? I really hope this is just a little-people dance troupe. If that’s the case, they can have a reality show called “little people, big stage”. I’m sure this video will be re-screened at the annual pedophile convention. Shiver me timbers.

Exhibit B:

Sliding Baby – This reminds me of the episode of family guy when Peter loses all his bones. The title of this video includes the world “hilarious” which it definitely is not. I’m all for chubby babies. I adore them, but I think with the sound effects and all, it scares me a tad bit. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of fish, especially fish out of water. Blech. Sorry slidey-baby.

Exhibit C:

Makhniashvili – The name is as fun to say as Eyjafjallajökull but the situation is grim and extremely confusing. The case of a missing high school girl rocked Toronto last year, and now it’s gotten stranger. Mariam Makhniashvili has been missing since last September and now her father has allegedly stabbed a man. Apparently the incidents are unrelated but with zero leads in her case, it’s hard not to make connections that may or may not be there. Hmmm.

Exhibit D:

Joaquin – Performance artiste extraordinaire, Joaquin Phoenix was crazy for a year, apparently for the sake of filming a documentary. I think he was just crazy for the sake of being crazy. Apparently there’s full frontal, call girls, and drug use included in this piece of “art”. Is this real? A joke? Where Lindsay Lohan will be in two five years?

Please, trusted readers, decipher the insanity so I don’t have to.

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