Adil Says: Toronto’s Next Mayor Could Be My Mom

2 Dec

I had the pleasure of working with Adil while blogging for Virgin Mobile. He is quite the Renaissance man, juggling a blog, a Twitter project, and an up and coming initiative, My City Lives (Think a Yelp and Youtube fusion with a Toronto focus) while being an absolute sex bomb.

In the next couple weeks, leading to the launch of My City Lives, he will be writing a Toronto-themed guest post every other Wednesday on Romi Says.

Without further adieu, here is our first installment of Adil Says:

In 2010 Toronto will be electing a new Mayor and if you haven’t been paying attention to this story you really haven’t missed much. Currently, the confirmed or potential candidates are either top heavy on baggage and lacking in inspiration. Not surprisingly, this was the case the last time Toronto elected a Mayor and it resulted in the darkhorse candidate (Mayor David Miller) emerging victorious. This has inspired me to consider who might be the darkhorse this year and for your consideration, here are the 5 I’d love to see run:

Bryan Burke

Before Bryan Burke was hired as General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, he described Toronto as hockey’s Vatican thereby proving not only is this a man of good observation, but that he knows what Torontonians want to hear. Perhaps what I love most about Burke the Mayor is that critical to his blueprint for success is hiring a bunch of tough guys.  Do you really think Toronto would have had that huge strike this summer if Mayor Miller was flanked by a bunch of goons? I don’t think. Also going in Burke’s favor is that he’s a white man with grey hair so he’s got the quintessential Toronto Mayor look going for him.

Michael Bryant

Too soon? Before you pass judgment, consider that Bryant was a rising political star who had recently left his job at Queen’s Park to be the CEO of Invest Toronto. So not only was he already committed to working for a Toronto’s tomorrow, but that whole tiny issue of him killing a rogue cyclist forced him to leave his job and become unemployed. Good talent like that is rarely available. Moreover, we’re suckers for comeback stories and none would be as headline grabbing as “Political star leverages murder trail publicity to win race for Mayor”. Our beleaguered newspaper industry is banking on Bryant.

Zanta

First of all, have you seen the man that walks around downtown with no shirt, a Santa hat and does pushups in the middle of winter?  His name is Zanta and the first time I learned about him was when I typed in ‘Toronto’ into Youtube and he was the first thing that showed up. Curious and confused, I asked the person next to me who was Zanta and I got one of those “How could you not know Zanta?” replies.  The take away point here is that Zanta already has the support of awareness of the common man. Also, as you’ll see from this documentary about him, Zanta’s leadership will be one which Torontonians have long desired of few words and much action. Need I say more?

Mel Lastman

Why not? Mayor Miller has ushered in an era of boring city politics by focusing on things like balancing our budget, unions and the creative city. Conversely, when Lastman was around Toronto would consistently make international headlines whether it was for calling in the army after a snow storm (we will never live that down) or for stating his fear of being boiled alive by African cannibals during a state visit.  Toronto is a world class city that never gets talked about. Lastman will change that. In fact, Lastman will probably change everything.

My Mom

Okay, putting Shain Dhalla up for the position initially came to mind because I realized that all four of my proposed candidates were men so I started thinking of absurd-out-of-nowhere female personalities from the city and not one came to mind. Either this means that I don’t pay attention to females enough (which cannot be possible) or that there aren’t enough outrageous females in this city. So then I mused that my mom could fill the quota and realized that not only is she the best out of the bunch – she’s also better than those legitimate candidates officially in the running. Women Mayor. Check. Ethnicity. Check. Can relate to problems of the every-person. Check. Not Crazy. Check. Will take care of us and make the occasional soul food. Check. Gets deals on everything she purchases. Check. Unable to say no to. Check.

Your mom might be a great candidate too so maybe we ought to create a “Mom for Mayor” campaign and get one them in there.  Our city will be much, much better for it.

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9 Responses to “Adil Says: Toronto’s Next Mayor Could Be My Mom”

  1. romeh December 2, 2009 at 3:52 pm #

    Beverley Levine and Shain Dhalla for mayor!

  2. Milan Davidovic December 2, 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    If nothing else, any of your choices would be entertaining. Build a reality show around the winner and bring more in to the city coffers.

    • Adil December 3, 2009 at 8:39 am #

      Well that would certainly help make up for the 300 million windfall.

  3. Adam December 3, 2009 at 9:42 am #

    I personally am a fan of bryant (nothing against your mom adil). You know when it comes down to crunch time you can turn to him to get the job done. None of this tip-toeing around the issue trying to make everyone happy. If you get in his way…. well just don’t get in his way. If he had been around during the garbage strike, he probably would have outsourced waste control after 3 days. Don’t mess with that man.

  4. Jamie December 3, 2009 at 10:49 am #

    Brian Burke all the way. Although, if he ever wins the cup with the leafs, we’ll probably give him the city anyway.

    …that’s probably the biggest ‘if’ ever.

  5. Jonny December 4, 2009 at 2:48 pm #

    I’m actually really curious to see what would happen if Zanta gets elected, I think that’d be awesome. God bless him.

  6. towriter December 14, 2009 at 11:22 pm #

    Haha. Do you have some serious candidates in mind for mayor too? DO tell.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention Adil Says: Toronto’s Next Mayor Could Be My Mom « Romi Says -- Topsy.com - December 3, 2009

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Romi Levine, adam ben-aron. adam ben-aron said: Check out my piece on @romeh's blog >> http://bit.ly/871Os9 >> Imagine if Toronto's Mayor race was between Burke vs Bryant vs My Mom? […]

  2. Adil Says: Inane Thoughts from an Inane Individual « Romi Says - January 20, 2010

    […] same. No lie, I just came back from an interview with a journalist who read my first piece on the Mayor race so it really, truly, does get you places. Especially if you are a sex addict who just started your […]

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